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KIDS SAY
From the book of Korney Chukovsky "two to five"

The first page of our collection of children's sayings consists of the sayings collected by Corney Chukovsky and published them in the book "two to five" as evidence of genius children's thinking and baby word creation. After reading the examples of children's knowledge of the world and an accompanying speech development, you will easily find all these are features of children's language on the following pages of our collection. And as the epigraph to "the children have to Say" let me quote the following words of K. Chukovsky from his book:

"...it seems to me that since two years every child becomes for a short time, a brilliant linguist, and then, for five or six years, this genius loses. In the eight-year-old children it is not in sight, as the need for it has passed: by this age, the child has already mastered the basic wealth of the native language. If such a flair for verbal forms did not leave the child as their development, it is already to ten years outshined any of us flexibility and brightness of speech. No wonder Leo Tolstoy, referring to the adults wrote:

"[Child] is aware of the laws of the formation of words better than you, because no one so often doesn't invent new words, like children".


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When Lyalya was two and a half years, some stranger asked her jokingly:
- Would you like to be my daughter?
She told him majestically:
I Mamin and more Nikulina.

Once we Lala walked along the seashore, and she for the first time in my life I saw
away steamer.
"Mother, mother, steam bathes! - she cried fervently.
"Mother, shut my back foot!
- Daddy, how are your pants frowned!
- Grandma! You are my best lover!
"Oh, mother, what do you Khvostov feet!
Our grandma was stabbed in the winter geese, so they are not helpful.
- Mom, I'm so sorry for the horses that they can't nose to pick.
- Grandma, you're going to die?
- Will die.
- You in a hole bury?
- Bury.
- Deep?
- Deep.
- That's when I'll be your sewing machine to twirl!
George cut by the blade of an earthworm in half.
- Why did you do that?
The worm was bored. Now there are two of them. It was more fun.
The old woman told the four-year-old grandson about the suffering of Jesus Christ:
nailed the God of nails to the cross, and God, in spite of nails, rose
- It was nuts! he sympathized with the grandson.
Grandpa said that they do not know how to swaddle newborns.
"But how can you swaddled grandmother when she was little?
The girl is four and a half years have read "the Tale of the fisherman and the fish".
- You stupid old man, " cried she, " asked fish the new house, a new trough. Asked would a new woman.
"How dare you fight?
"Oh, mother, what do I do if a fight and climbs out of me!
Nanny, what is heaven for?
And this is where apples, pears, oranges, cherries...
"I realize that Paradise is the compote.
"Aunt, you for a thousand rubles would eat a dead cat?
Bass:
Baba soap face wash!
- Women do not face, at Baba's face.
Went and looked again.
- No, still a little muzzle.
- Mom, I'm such a minx!
And showed the rope that had she been able to unravel.
- There once was a shepherd, his name is Makar. And there was his daughter Macarons.
"Oh, mother, what a pretty disgusting!
"Well, Nura, rather, don't cry!
- I cry don't you and aunt I am.
You lump pour?
- Yes.
To increased Serenata?
The end of ATA" we adults assigned only living beings: lambs, piglets, etc. But as for children and the still alive, they
use this ending more often than we do, and from them you can always hear:
- Daddy, what vagoneta pretty!
Serezha two and a half years first saw the fire, prysusy bright sparks, clapped his hands and shouted:
- Fire and Odonata! Fire and Odonata!
Saw a picture of the Madonna:
- Madonna madonina.
"Oh, daddy, pussy sneezed!
- Why, Helen, said the cat: health?
"And who will tell me thanks?
Philosophy of art:
I sing so much that the room is a large, beautiful...
In Anapa hot, how to sit on the stove.
"You see, I'm all bare!
"I'll get up so early, what else it will be too late.
- No mascara fire, and then to sleep can not see!
"Listen, dad, fantasically story: once there was a horse, her name was lagawa... But then it perinasal, because she does not kicking...
Draws flowers, and around three dozen points.
- What is it? Flies?
"No, the smell of flowers.
- About what you have carapella?
- About the cat.
Night wakes the tired mother:
"Mother, mother, if good lion will meet familiar giraffe can, he will eat it
or not?
"You're terrible spun! So now it state!
The lialechka sprinkled perfume:

I all such pahla,
I'm all such Dukla.

And spinning in the mirror.
"I will, mommy, krasavzy!

- When you are with me play? Dad from work and straight for the book. My mother is a lady of some! - immediately wash the beginning.
The entire family was waiting for the postman. And here he was at the wicket.
Cooking, two and a half years, first noticed him.
- Octanic, octanic goes! happily announced she.
Boast, sitting on chairs:
My grandmother swears all: damn, damn, damn, damn.
- And my grandmother all the swearing: Gospodi, Gospodi, Gospodi, Gospodi!
Jura is proud thought that he had the thickest babysitter. Suddenly
a walk in the Park he met even more thick.
This aunt back to you, " he said reproachfully to his nanny.
Three-year-old Tanya, seeing wrinkles on the forehead with his father pointed a finger at them and said:
"I don't want you to have serdidi!
I already sour in his mouth was from pampering, from slania.
Three-Year Nata:
- Sing to me Mama, Ballou song!
"Paulina song" (from the verb "cradle") is excellent, sounding word, is more attractive to children than "lullaby song", because in the modern life the cradle has become a rarity.
- Dad, you know, it turns out: in horses there are no horns!
- Mom, it's true, brownies, but there is only the caretaker?
- Volodya, you know: the cock nose is the mouth!
"You know, dad, all the beasts of the back of the top and belly at the bottom!
- It's bad to be a bird: want to kiss mom and Yunesi her.
When the candy is kept in the mouth, it is delicious. And when the hand is the worst.
Of Samura back off?
- Vova me wood today called.
- How is it?
He said bitch.
Luda Plekhanov three years:
And we would listen to the radio listen to the song cousine!
People have confused the pitcher and decanter, was Aria of the Countess from the Queen of spades.
- Lena, where are you! Wait! No need to show the dog that you are afraid of her.
Lena, escaping:
"Why I told her I would be lying if I really afraid of?
- Skirt - this is when the two legs into one pant leg.
About portrait Goncharova:
He already died, Yes? And who is now his Deputy?
The wife of the scholar caresses four year old son:
- Ah, the sun, dusanka, pustika.
Son:
- Mom, not Crowley Russian language!
- This is not a Board game, and nastolnaya. Because I do not play on the table and on the chair.
Spent the leg.
- In my leg drinks!
- How do you fell off the bed?
And last night I slept-slept and not watched, and then looked at the bed and saw me there.
Ineradicable passion for boasting.
"My dad snoring can!
- We are at the cottage so much dust!
Neighbor Sasha was so proud of living in his bed bugs that five-year Anton Ivanov wept with envy:
"You want me to have bugs!
Stars are very far away. So how do people know their names?
Fish mrite (die) can't; her head no. Only his eyes on the belly and tail.
- Lady, you are very beautiful.
"But what in me beautiful?
Glasses and skullcap.
- ...Lived a king and Queen, and they had little carenas.
- Who is more beautiful - mom or dad?
- I'm not going to answer you, because I don't want to hurt mom.
- Get me the moon, though bitten!
We have a grandmother in the village all cockerels cut. Now let herself eggs bears.
- Dad, what policemen funny! He told me you like me a little!
- Nina otter, otter, otter! - screaming five-year-old Mary.
Her contemporary Clave such abuse seems too polite.
It's not an otter, and tygra, - teach it.
- Tygra, tygra, tygra! - together they both scream.
Nina does not stand up and runs away in tears.
Had my tooth pulled out.
May he now have a doctor in the Bank hurts!
Standards of conduct, inspired adults and children, are perceived by children as a universal rule, as is mandatory for children and animals.
- Grandma, look, what a stupid duck - raw drink water from puddles!
A girl living in the South, treats grapes, goat, and all the time shouting to her:
- Spit the bone!
My son was a year and a half. He read the fable "the Crow and the Fox" and showed the picture to her. He regretted the unfortunate crow left without cheese. When, after two or three weeks for Breakfast was filed Dutch cheese - a favorite delicacy Vladik, he ran for the book, found the picture, which depicts a crow with its mouth open, and shoved my Raven cheese, was the sentence:
- Crow, eat cheese, eat!
In kindergarten, the teacher shows the children the picture. The picture shows a boy who runs away from an angry goose, far off the house, surrounded by trees.
Five-year-old girl takes a pointer and much knocks on the house.
I knock, " she explains, " so the boy soon discovered, and then his goose will bite.
Biennial Kate really liked the picture, depicting goats on the green lawn. She began to pull mom's hand:
"Let's go in the picture to the goats!
Natasha brought in kindergarten Korean tale "Swallow".
In the book there is a picture: for the bird nest is chosen evil serpent.
Seeing the picture, friend Natasha, five-year Valerka, pounced on the snake with his fists.
"Don't shoot! cried Natasha. I already beat her home.
The picture painted Hippo running at Mishka. Three-year-old Sasha covered bear the palm, to the Behemoth it is not caught.
Looking at the bald:
- Why do you have so many faces?
Saw at the Zoo striped Zebra:
The horse in the vest.
The son of a teacher, a five-year Valery:
- Pushkin now lives?
- No.
And Tolstoy?
- No.
- But real writers are?
- There are.
- Has anyone seen?
I introduce five-year Irina.
Is the Ira, writer Chukovsky.
She hid her hands behind her back and laughed, as someone who understands well the joke.
- Chukovsky died long ago.
When I was invited to the table, she finally caught me in the imposture:
"Yeah! Unless the writers eat?
The bus boy four years sitting on the arms of his father. Is a woman. The boy, wanting to be polite, he jumps from his father's knee:
"Sit down, please!
Mathematical dispute two four contenders:
- I'm on all fours know how.
And I Petrenko.
And I hesterenko.
And I Semerenko.
"I...
Fortunately, on the seven and they could not be considered. Had reached tasaciones.
The cat is on all fours,
And Natasha on durkah.
The Erna and Tats three cups. Divide them equally impossible. The who during the game gets one Cup, suffers from envy, crying, and that, who are two of them puts on airs and teases sufferer.
Suddenly Erna before the game dawns:
"Let's divide one Cup!
Tata excited:
"Let's split!
This is the first mathematical problem that happened to them to decide, and they brilliantly solved it, because after the destruction of the Cup received the opportunity to play in a friendly, not causing each other grievances.
Mother Leonid Andreyev told me that when he was three years old, he one day forecas in bed, complained:
- I'm on one side, I on the other side, I am on the third side, I am on the fourth side, I am on the fifth side - just can't sleep.
"How old are you?
Soon eight, and until three.
Five-year Alik just learned to count to ten. Climbing the stairs to the seventh floor, he confidently believes stages, and it would seem,
that made him the numbers have some kind of magic, because, in his opinion, the number of stages depends on the figures that he'll call.
"Here, " he says, " if believed not 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, and 1, 3, 5, 10, it would be easier to walk. There would be fewer steps.
The number seems to him the same reality as the thing, note the number.
Tanya took the calendar and carefully tears off leaf by leaf:
- Want to make the First of may... Then we will go to the demonstration.
Mom said the five-year Leve that he will return home when this arrow will be here (and pointed to the wall clock). Loew was left alone. Waited, waited I could not stand it, climbed on a chair and drew the arrow, in the firm conviction that thereby accelerates the return of the mother.
- I want to marry a boy, " says the mother of four-year-old Lena.
"But you're a year older than him.
- So what! We miss one day of my birth and will srvname.

CHILDREN'S FLAIR LANGUAGE

"Mother, skomentuj: "To nyrba get ready!"
"Give me the thread, I'll nantawat beads.
- Mom, look, cock without grabeh.
- UY, what we found sirigu!
- In the window at the Foundry this igruha!

UNCONSCIOUS SKILL

When three-year-old Nina was first seen in the garden of worm, she whispered in fright:
"Mother, mother, what pasuk!

And this end of the criminal code superbly expressed his panic towards the monster. Not paltinis, not Polushka, not palsonic, not pulsatile, and certainly pasuk! Of course, this pasuk not invented by the child. Here the imitation of such words, as beetle and spider. But still it is remarkable that for the root of a small child in a moment found in its Arsenal different morphemes exactly the same, which in this case is most suitable.

The two-year Janecka, bathing in the tub and causing the doll to dive, saying:
- Here pritoula, and here vitanol!

Only deaf and dumb not to notice the exquisite sculpture and fine sense of these two words. Protonate not to drown, drown on time, to eventually emerge.

Two-year Sasha asked:
"Where are you going?
For sand.
"But you already brought.
"I'm going for exam.

"FOLK ETYMOLOGY"

In most cases, children only to ensure and strive to possibly be precise copy of the elders. But trying to play throughout our accuracy "adult" speech, they unconsciously correct it, and the amazing virtuosity with which, in changing his heard word one sound only, they make the word to obey their logic, their perception of things.
Three Moore ran up to me and said:
Mom asks mazelin!
It turned out that she was sent to bring the vaseline. But vaseline for her dead word, and here on the way from room to room she unconsciously quickened and comprehended it, as that is for her being vaseline that this ointment, which can be applied.
One four-year-old girl instead of the word "thermometer" said the calorimeter, telomer, unconsciously translating this word into English and at the same time preserving its original appearance.
Busya (unknown to me age) aptly called the drill a dentist Balkashino, and it is curious that the children from the orphanage who had to visit the dentist, gave the drill the same nickname.
- The mother's heart ached, and she saw rolerance.
The child unconsciously requires that the sound was the meaning of that word was a living, tangible way; and if not, the child himself will give strange word desired image and meaning.
Fan he - ventilator.
Web - Paulina.
Spring - Krutinka.
Policeman - elezioni.
The gimlet - miravci.
Excavator - peckover (because begrebet sand).
Recipe - precept (because it clings to the pharmacy bottle).

UNDERSTANDING SPEECH NONSENSE

It happens that the pursuit of meaning leads the child to utter nonsense. This nonsense for it dissolves more meaning, than it is a meaningful combination of words, which was given to him by adults.
The grooms mother of four People and accidentally pulling her hair comb. Luda whimpers, ready to cry. The mother says in comfort:
- Be patient, the Cossack ataman will be!
In the evening People playing with a doll, grooms her and repeats:
- Be patient, a goat, and then the mother will be!
- Why is this rainbow? Because she is happy, Yes?

The EFFECTIVENESS

Three-year-old is sure that almost every thing there is for a precisely defined steps and out of this action cannot be understood. In the noun child feels the latent energy of the verb. Almost all the amendments of the child in our "adult" speech, lies precisely in the fact that he puts in the first place dynamics.
Little Ira, observed that cufflinks are the exclusive membership of the Pope, was renamed them to padonki:
"Daddy, show your padonki!
Watch castout.
All tree osvecona! All tree osvecona!
Not balali, please!
"Ah, I sideril hand!
- Otscorp me the egg.
- Samoloty this carnations.
Paper was accropolis.
I sasikala his caramel!
"Oh, I nettle necrophilia!
I namakarana.
I already machipisa.
- We posibile coffee.
- Raschirikalis!.. Raschirikalis! - shouted its guests four-year-old girl, demanding that they parted.
- Dad aliquet on the phone.
Serge clung to her mother, she hugged him.
- All almarsa! - he boasts.
I sit and takeways. Sit and takeways.
- Go polinosis with mom and dad.

THE CONQUEST OF THE GRAMMAR. CONSOLES

In these verbs I especially admire consoles, masterfully giving each word exactly the shade of expression, which gives them the people. They show how wonderful it feels the child the purpose of these small for you,,, races, etc. Oglasitsya, vyuziti, respectit, siderite, metabasite, periodonitis, abnegates - here the child can never go wrong. He's already two and a half years of the great disposes of all prefixes. And isn't it amazing that the child is already in the third year of your life completely overcomes all of these an extensive range of consoles and great guesses the value of each of them. Adult foreigner, even though he must have studied the language for many years, will never reach such virtuosity in the handling of these particles words, which shows year-old child, unconsciously perceiving from the ancestral system of their language thinking.
"Look how ALWIL rain!
- Oh, what a bubble I vapezilla!
"Give me respectit packages.
"There you go, Gee, Potocari.
- The dog's mouth opened, and then Zainul.
"Oh, how oltages street!
"See how well I pridobiti.
"Wait, I haven't yet Adonias.
- Mom gets angry, but quickly fertilized.
The whole bridge Saladillo.
- What are you so upazilas?
When the Eureka B. did not like that at dinner his mother had salted egg, he cried:
- Vysali back!
- Can't resonate that is drawn in this picture.
I remembered, remembered, and then atpanel.
"Mother, opacki my hand!
- Contracted, and then reflected (recovered).
- Dad, already regasified! - shouted the father of five-year old daughter, when guests came to his mother, began to disperse.

THE CASE AND CANNOT

A curious feature of children's consoles: they never grow together with root. The child lifts them from the root and easier and more often than adults.
- First I was afraid of the tram, and then off, off and used.
Anya's grandmother Kokush told her with a bitter reproach:
"You klutz.
Anya tears:
"No, datep, datapa!
"Don't cry, he struck accidentally.
"No, channo, Channa, I know that canno!
"Shut up, I hate you.
- I'm also not very Navigo.

Every "no" hurts children:
- You are my beloved!
"No, obvious!

I said in the Caucasus biennial tanned baby:
- Uh, what was the Negro.
"No, I Greenock, Greenock.

I'm told means I'm your salesman!

HE AND SHE

The remarkable sensitivity of the child to generic endings of words. Here it is especially often make adjustments in our speech.
"What are you crawling like a turtle? I say three-year-old boy.
But he is already three years perceive that men ought not to have the female end of the "a":
- I'm not a turtle, and I'm turtles.
Vera Finberg writes me from Novorossiysk on the next conversation with my four-year-old son:
- Mom, a sheep is?
- He.
The sheep is it?
- She.
"Why dad is he? Should dad, not dad.
- Mom, I'm on the finger scratches, dust and shock!
- No dust, shock, scratches and scratch.
Is the Musi if - scratch, and I'm a boy! I have scratches, dust and shock!
From four-year-old Natasha Zuhovickii I heard:
- Wheat - mother, and millet - her babe.
- Tit - woman and man - Tits.
- Woman - mermaid. Man - RUSAL.
- I'm a lady, you, Tanya, servant, and he will be servants.
When Alena's father Polejaeva reproachfully said to her: "Lala - friend", she immediately from this feminine formed male:
- Dad - byak! Dad - of baddies! Dad - of baddies!
Three-year-old Vova plays in the area:
"Poor you Bunny... You drunkards knocked...
Obviously, for his linguistic consciousness only a woman can be a drunkard.

"LEVACY COCK"

Adjectives are relatively rare in the speech of children. But even a small number of them, which I managed to collect for a very long time is also clearly expressed peculiar children flair language
- Servicee Apple.
- Smutny shoes.
- Wbesite horse.
- Toccata mother.
- Toparty guard.
- Grazielly finger.
- Bagatelle tales.
- Circustance stone.
- Malakona pan.
What kosny house!
- What sand peachy!
- All bed I crescina.
- What do you give me kaitie candy?
- A tooth doctor.
We have electricity rotten.
- Solnechnaya I still like the kid.
- Pryzgoda water.
- Nesmachny handkerchief.
- The broken bottle.
"You, mother, I lucchesia!
Is Ribeira spoon?
"I don't want this bag: it's all derketa.
- This house is higher on our mail.
- Why do lizards ludyny fingers?
Our radio is very oracea.
- I nepomucena go for a walk.
- Ischezla dog.
- Levacy cock.
- Resavica fly.
- Krasnye feet.
- Maguchi tail.
Tick boasts four years:
Say: put stockings - wear socks! They say you should wear socks - wear stockings. I don roborative.

CROSSING WORDS

When two similar words penetrate one another so that the result is a new, consisting of two approximately equal parts, this word is called a hybrid.
- My Cup this blatinica (shiny and clean immediately).
- I polemou (my floor).
- Where is your volocity? (hairnet).
I resumidero love kisanak! (insanely plus amazing).
Recently I was told about a little Jure, which adults Intrusive asked:
"Whose son are you?
At first, he always answered:
Mama's and Papa's!
But then he got tired, and he made more concise formula:
- Mapin!
"Look, what sukasuka creeps! (bug plus bocachica).
"Let's make snow kuchela! (heap plus stuffed).
Trying on his hat:
- Hat with marjoram (sailor plus anchor).
Kira, twelve years old, shouted:
"Mother, please give me Luxus!
I did not understand what she wants.
- Luxus is onion with vinegar, explained to me Kirin mother. - Kira when he was little, so quickly said "onions with vinegar"that she could "Luxus". This word has remained in our family forever.
Vladimir Glazer in childhood, someone called modality (plus sneak
slicker).
Three Tania Dubinuk:
- My father is pijace (coat plus a jacket).
And that's a hybrid of a spider with a cockroach:
"Mother, I am afraid, on the floor pauken!

TYPICAL "ERRORS" CHILDREN

Among children pronouns special unique features possessive:
Is China mother? Ainna?
Is chaitin hat?
Is cosina girl?
"Aunt Nina, and Volga kamanina?
The word "whose" comes relatively late.
The demonstrative pronouns often seem to see the children, even where there are none.
I, for example, in early childhood was sure bookcase - two words: this Zerka.
And said, "this Gerke", "under this jerkey" and so on. Now I was convinced that the same mistakes were made very many children, just hear the word "whatnot".
Writer Yuri Olesha told me that five-year-old Igor Rossinsky along with this jerkey" imposed form "that jerka". And the other five said: "burada" and "this burada".
- My dad waewae.
Not waewae - Voynet.
Generally irregular verbs the children dispose of it as if it is the correct verbs, and with mathematical precision from one form produced by the analogy of all other:
- Fish of ogival.
- My grandmother turpentine petrila.
"You don't dadashi, and I usamu.
I you saddu wait.
- Narisovat me a watchdog.
On - Spey me a song about silly little mouse.
- Kitty Lalco beat, Lala loud vishala.
When children enter the room, they enjoy sweets.
Do you feel how warm eye to your ear was priznalsa?
- Verka plaetse.
- Alladina doll to sleep.
"I'll just out to kick, and dreaming.
- Eureka me pocelui.
I will look for a revolver.
She fights.
- Natasha, go into the dining room.
- Don't want idemity into the dining room.
- Please do not boeviki!
C. Izumrudov told me such a wonderful conversation between two four-year-old girls:
"And I your cock hidden installation-TA-Yu (very slowly).
"I will otyskal.
"You will not odyssesy.
- Well, then I sadau and salakay.
"You drank tea.
Yes I did not drink. I only pivol drop.
- Arrow on the clock godola once.
He, as bololo belly!
- I'm only a little accusol from Patty.
"Let's go to the forest to err... Yes I sent you all care?
Village girl said that we are going into the forest, she asked:
- Stalkera?
The kindergarten teacher said about one of the Pets:
"Poor boy, he barely goes!
"Nonsense!" - jealously replied the other. - I might go even Edie!
"Come on, it's already morning!
"I'll be waiting when you get utree.
It cannot be taken for more nelsa, Yes?
I rizwanullah lace.
- My mom spit repletes!
Kyra. Mother, Lena crusade!
Lena. Not true!
Kyra. And who now kryvnosa?

THE ANALYSIS OF THE LINGUISTIC HERITAGE OF ADULTS. CRITIC AND REBEL

Unfortunately, we still are not finished theorists who continue to insist that the child, like a machine, without hesitation, dutifully copies of our "adult" speech without making it any analysis. One has only to take a closer look to the language development of children, so it became clear that the imitation of them combined with the most searching study material offered them by the adults.
- Boiler house - the wife of a fireman?
- Pike - which is judged?
- Primary school - this is where the chiefs are learning?
Once they fire, they should make a fire and to extinguish the fire should Moshenniki!
Why cricket? He sparkles?
Why stream? It would jurca. He's not Rochet and gurgling.
"Why do you say: poplar? After all, he stomps.
- Why do you say the nails! The nails on our toes. And who on his hands is ructi.
- Why do you say the fish are biting? No beak it.
Why ladle spoon? It would Kalevala.
Why a pocket knife? It would tacitly. No feathers I'm not repairing.

I know many guys who rejects the word "artist", because they believe that if the word begins with the adverb "badly" means, is a bad word. Ohiopyle talks about a five-year boy who was talking about the artist who made the artwork in the book:
"He's not an artist: he is very well painted.

Making some kind of picture, this boy exclaimed:
- Look what I goreshnik.
When the picture is especially possible to him, he says:
"And now I prekrasnich!

The mother got angry and said three van:
"You're my soul exhausted!
In the evening, a neighbor came. Mother, talking to her, complained:
- My heart hurts.
Vanya, who played in the corner, judiciously corrected her:
- You yourself said that I have you my soul exhausted. So, you have no soul and hurt nothing.
- This is not a wilderness, and Custine.
Four-year-old he was surprised to see that adults pour in the milkman's not milk, and wine.
Now this is not the milkman, and the culprit.
- This is not a bruise, and krasniak.
A cow is not butt, but Roget.
Johnny the Lozovskaya (four and a half years), seeing the ducks, exclaimed:
"Mother, ducks uticom go!
- Filed.
"No, geese - jib, and ducks uticom.

AGAINST METAPHORS

We, the adults, if I may say so, think of words, verbal formulas, and small children - things, things of the objective world. They thought at first related only to specific images. Why they so vehemently oppose our allegories and metaphors.
The logic of these rationalists always ruthless. Their rules do not know the exceptions. Every word liberty seems to them self-will.
Say, for example, in a conversation:
- I this to death happy.
And you will hear a reproachful question:
- Why you not die?
Child and here, as always, stands guard over the correctness and purity of the Russian language, demanding that it corresponded to the true facts of the real actually (to the extent that this reality available to him).
- The devil knows what is going on in our shop, " said the clerk, when he returned from work.
"What's going on there? I asked.
Her son, five years, said instructive:
- You said that God knows, and my mom is hell? She doesn't know.
Father once said that chocolate bar to save for a rainy day when there will be another sweet. Three-year-old daughter decided that the day will be black, and very long and impatiently waited for the day comes.
Four-year-old Svetlana asked her mother, soon will come the summer.
- Soon. You and before you know it.
Svetlana was a strange turn.
- I look back, look back, and the summer's all gone.
Hearing that the woman fainted, child sarcastically asks:
"Who are her ottudova took?
I know a girl five years, which is red from anger, when it is talked about barakah.
"Why do you call them bagels? They are not of the sheep, and from a roll.
Uncle gave Alex and Bob on the bagel.
Alex. Thank you.
The uncle. It is not necessary.
Bob is silent and does not Express any gratitude.
Alex. Bob, what do you say thank you?
Bob. Why, uncle said, not worth it.
And why the nurse? Need source of water. It is not the cutlets will be it our Sesku to feed!
And why gloves? It palatki.
"Mother, now, you say that icicles can't suck. Why are they called icicles?
"Why do you say "chop wood"? Because wood does not hack, and toporal.

EXPOSING STAMPS. THE FRESHNESS OF THE CHILD'S PERCEPTION OF WORDS

Perception of the meaning of words and verbal constructions in children is much worse than ours. We have long wielded words that our slavewomen blunted. We are talking, not noticing her. As a child due to the freshness of their perceptions are demanding the controller of our speech.
The three-year Thani torn stockings.
"Ah, " said her - finger-Kashi asks!
A week passes, and perhaps more. Suddenly all surprised to see that she secretly poured into a saucer cereal and pokes back toe.
- I will not go, " said the five-year Seryozha. There on the exam guys cut.
Ask him about his sister:
- What is your Ira with cocks lies?
"She's with cocks are not lies - they klouda: she is alone in her bed rests.
- This winter, the snow falls, hit the frost...
- I will not go into the street.
Why?
And so I frosts struck.
Four-year-old Olga brought her mother to live with her aunt in Moscow, looked at her and uncle and finally, during tea time, disappointed and very loudly exclaimed:
- Mom! You said that uncle sitting at aunt Ann on her neck, and he sits on the chair.
Unfortunately, remained unknown, said at this occasion the mother.
You head will lose, by golly! says the angry mother.
- I will not lose: find - raise.
When a three year old American has learned that the poster circus printed: "For children half price!" (that is, in other words, children
pay for the entrance half), he, in the words of James Sally turned to her mother with a request:
- Mama, buy me a baby: they were so cheap.
Two-year Jann told friends that her mother on the moon, as repeatedly heard from adults that the mother went on vacation for a month.
"Mother, what is war?
Is when people kill each other.
- Not each other, and the enemy of the enemy!

THE OBSCURITY OF IGNORANCE. THE INSTINCT OF SELF-ASSERTION

To confess the poverty of their knowledge of the child considers a shame because all of his childhood filled with tireless cognitive activity, and he putlibai of all earthly creatures, values knowledge above all else.
I remember how fascinated me biennium Ira, which with great resourcefulness resorted to very subtle maneuver to mask the offensive to her vanity, the fact that it can count only up to two.
Father gives her a spoon and asks:
How much of spoons?
- One.
Gives another:
Now how many?
- Two.
Gives the third:
Now how many?
- A lot.
"No, you tell me.
Ira with exaggerated expression of disgust removes from himself the third spoon:
Take it, it's dirty!
Four-year-old girl can't pronounce the "R"sound. Uncle, teasing, tells her:
- Nadya, say the word "fish".
- Perch, " she says.
Walking with her aunt down the street, a boy two and a half years stops at the bookstall.
The seller asks:
- Know how to read?
- Able.
The boy gives the book:
- Read.
He, imitating grandma, catches suddenly in the pocket:
I had forgotten my glasses.
I write about a boy who, having settled in the village, suddenly demanded that he be sewn on the pants and jacket patches, because the clothes of the village boys, with whom he had to play, was in that distant time covered with patches.
He was so tired of her mother she sewed it on gevalco" the most prominent places scraps, and shining Bob everyone boasted:
And I also have patches!

A FALSE INTERPRETATION OF THE WORDS

A child who lives among adults and is constantly present in their conversations, and then hears these words, the meaning of which he could understand. Often he tries to comprehend them myself, without asking for explanations for the elderly, it is quite certain that this problem will not pose a special difficulty. He decides it "inspiration", suddenly, not having to do this any other resources except the strongest language instinct, and no wonder that, trying to get to the meaning of obscure words, he is forced to resort to the most fantastic inventions.
Volodya, met in Kuokkala some Finn with the child, said to his father:
- Here is Finn, and with him the date.
And three-year-old Tanya said:
- We go for a walk, we truants!
Four-year-old Igor, for the first time Valeev snowman without the help of adults, proudly said to others:
This woman absolutely helpless!
Maya shouted to her older sister:
"Shut up, you secrets to tell! The Secretary of the kind!

THE LANGUAGE OF CHILDREN AND PEOPLE

The child learns the language of the people, his only teacher - people. No wonder very often it turns out that the children write the words that already exist in people ("people", "solnica", "meanie", "Obuda", "Odetta" and so on). This would be impossible if the spirit of folk word creation was not significantly internalized by children before sleep took possession of the first dozen words (even during passive speech). Only through this they can easily and freely create words such as "retarded", "raschirikalis", "otmuchivanie", "Justyna", "krasniak" etc. with pure folk expression.
Maya, what are you doing?
I conclude the door. (That is locked with a key.)
In another letter cited shouting four-year Bori:
- Nelina mom went and signed my chair! (That is again locked with a key, obviously, in the closet.)

EDUCATION SPEECH

Admiring the wonderful methods by which the child learns their native language, do not forget, do we, what we, adults, are designed to teach proper speech? Do not refuse if we as educators? For example, the child said "otmuchivanie", or "Bostanci", or "jurca", or "tree osvecona", and let these words seem excellent - do we have the right to cultivate their children's speech? Of course not! It would be a blatant absurdity. Although no one can take away from us the rights to marvel at the creation of new words the child, but we would violate basic pedagogical principle, if he meant to praise when the child one or another of the composed words and tried to artificially keep this word in his vocabulary. No matter how delighted us with some of the neologisms of the child, we, teachers and educators, shew him a very bad service, if left in his life or that of composed words.
Alena, five and a half years, was to respecti his grandfather:
"What have you got in mind? The hay?! And if the brains, so very neodoljive!
And grandfather, instead of shame tyke, was loudly praising (in her presence!) invented by the word:
As expressive as aptly: not-to-dum-Chi-new!
And the fact proved that brains at him and in fact have the same property, in what they said Alena.

A BEGINNER IN THE WORLD. SEARCH PATTERNS

In the "absurdities" of the child manifests a burning need of the infant mind in whatever was to comprehend the world and to establish between the individual phenomena of life the strong causality, which the child seeks to spot from a very early age. However, this is not always possible to him. The experience of the child microscopically small, and because the child uses them sometimes out of place. Every kid does a myriad of such errors, based on the deepest ignorance of the most elementary things and phenomena.

Four-year-old Lida Grigoryan, for which wove a wreath of dandelions, saw the same wreath on the girlfriend:
We have wreaths, equal, yellow size!

And here's another example of the same kind of relationship to logic:
- You have a big ball, and I have red.

The train bumped into a pig and cut it in half. The disaster saw five-year-old woman Zorya kotinskaya and shed many tears. After a few
days she was met live pig.
- Pig-stuck together! - cried in delight dawn.
My three year old son first became acquainted with pine cones, when they were lying on the ground under the trees. And only two months saw them on the branches of the pine trees from the top floor of our villas:
The cones climbed the tree somehow.
- Mother, who was born before: you or I?
- Dad, when you were little, you were a boy or a girl?
I love snow and more sun. Snow fortress can be built, and out of the sun what?
- I love garlic: it smells like sausage!
- Mom, nettle bites?
- Yes.
"How is she barking?
"The sea is one shore, and the river with two.
- Under the bed live Myskina the birds.
- And if you head off and I have it in hand will take, will she talk?
The ostrich is the giraffe. Only bird she is.
- Turkey is a duck with a bow.
Chops chickens cabbage leaves, which they do not eat.
Is it stock, then when they become rabbits.
"Mother, what is this radio says: war, war! What is war?
- This is when the enemies are attacking peaceful country, kill people set fire to the city, village, villages.
Anka takes a radio.
"Where have you suffered the radio? Put it back!
- Bear in the trash.
- Why?
- No war!
- That is, the knife - Wilkin husband?
- Oh, the moon with us flies and tram and train! Also in the Caucasus wanted!
"Daddy, Yes cut you, please, this pine... She makes the wind; and if you cut it will be quiet in I go for a walk.
The sun sinks into the sea.
- Why it is not hissed?
For the first time saw the Crescent:
"Oh, a rocket to the moon broke.
- What do you want to be when you grow up?
"If I grow my aunt, I'll be a doctor. And grow my uncle is an engineer.
Valerik four years:
- Mama, you been girl?
- Yes, he was.
- Went to school?
- Went.
- With whom I'm home remained?
Alex took the bone from beef, buried it under a window that has grown cow. In the evening he poured this bone, and in the morning, ran to check, did not seem out of the ground cow horn.
Dogs need the hunter to him hares are not attacked?
Saw on Nevsky huge thermometer:
Street ill.

"ONE HUNDRED THOUSAND WHY"

The child from two to five is the most inquisitive creature on earth and that most of the issues with which he speaks to us, caused by the urgent need him tireless brain quickly as possible, to comprehend the surroundings.
Here is the transcript of the questions with machine-gun speed of one four-year-old boy to his father for two and a half minutes.
And where does the smoke?
- And the bears wear brooches?
"Who shakes the trees?
- Is it possible to get such a large newspaper to wrap a live camel?
And octopus from eggs to hatch or he molokososy?
And the chickens Hout without galoshes?
And here are the questions another child:
As the sky turned out?
As the sun came out?
- Why the moon is this lamp?
- Who makes bugs?
Slava in tissue box bee.
"Why are you torturing the bee? To get out of it.
- How! "Let"! I'm going to milk! I will have to give the honey!
And the sun and the stars in one moment created by the child from a small flame in the oven:
- Swamps, marshes, daddy, let the fire flies to heaven, from there it will become and the sun and the stars.
I knew a boy who was often questioned the mother, where it goes the night in the morning. Stumbled once on a deep pit, at the bottom of which was dark, he
whispered knowingly:
Now I know where is hidden the night.
And that's the reason for the appearance of spring:
- The winter was cold, and she escaped.
"Mother, go to the market, buy, please, more money.
Falling asleep in unusual Crimea:
- Mommy, Potosi the sun.
Saw the train:
That's where the clouds! Their locomotives do.
- Lie down on my pillow, will be together my dream watch!
When hurt biennial Ale, he said threateningly:
Now the dark will do!
And closes his eyes, convinced that the whole world was plunged into darkness.
- How do you sleep? What I saw in the dream?
- Well, Yes! Except in the dark something to see!
Three-year Irinushka gave a tiny doll swing.
Writer Panteleev said:
"Would you like me to swing?
- No, they are still small.
"Mother, what makes the crust on the bread?
- Flour.
- And how then it on bread pull?
The mother says her three-year Forest:
- Climb down from the window would fall, will be humpbacked.
And camel, probably twice fell.
Lena Loseva asked grandma's China set.
"When you are ready to get married - will give.
Johnny straight to the father:
"Daddy, dear, let's you get married, and then we will have a Chinese set.
Naked boy standing in front of the mirror and says, thinking:
- Eyes to see... Ears to hear... his Mouth to speak... And navel why? Must have for beauty...
- Yura nose diarrhea!
"Oh, mother, me under his knee sick!
Serge, two and a half years, with great curiosity watched as the woman came to him the mother feeds her child breast.
"Mother, " said he, " when I was little, I drank milk?
- Yes.
- And how do you it there poured?
Mother breastfeeding baby Katya. Senior Maxim five years, the great grandson of A. M. Gorky, asked with great seriousness:
- And coffee there too?
- Alena at the hands of some misencik!
"Mother, mother, I have a sore saucer!
And pointed to the knee Cup.
- The cow from titanica carrot stick.
Grandma took the artificial teeth. Yuri laughed:
"Now the eyes of WinME!
- That's a miracle - I drink coffee, water, tea, and cocoa, and of me goes only one tea.
"Mother, take off my Shoe. I'm on the right foot palm itches.
"Oh, mommy, you have only two Breasts?
- What do you think?
"I thought - as our Kings: in two rows around the abdomen.

Mamie about radio:
- And how there uncles and aunts with music got?
And about the phone:
"Dad, when I was talking to you on the phone, how are you there in the tube, climbed?

I reported on a three-year boy who asked the same question.
His aunt, a physicist by training, immediately began to explain to him the device phone.
He listened to her, but after all the explanations asked:
"What about dad got there?

Who made holes in his nose?
And why do some only of Mamou have milk for small and papaw not?
"Mother, why is it in every cherry put the bone? After all, the bones still need to throw away.
Why the snow on the roof? Because the roof does not ride either skiing or sledding in!
- Well: in the Zoo animals need. Why in the forest beasts? Just a waste of people and unnecessary fear.
Three-year-old Vera from someone heard that you should not get out of the left leg, and decided to always stand on the right. But I can't remember where the left leg, and where right, it was not so easy, and Faith is not just a mistake. These the error was very upset. In the end she almost tears exclaimed:
And why is it attached the left leg?

CHILDREN BIRTH

The most inquisitive children in most cases already in the fourth year begin passionately to think about the reasons of his birth. At the same time they have questions about where did appear on earth, all living things, and was not, it seems, a child who would not have created his own hypothesis about this. Of course, all such hypotheses are always, without a single exception, wrong, but each of them loudly testifies to the tireless work of his thoughts.
"My six-year-old Tosca, writes me Chabadnik, " saw pregnant and began to laugh:
"Ooh, what a belly!
I tell her:
- Do not laugh at my aunt: she's in the belly of the baby.
Tosca with horror:
- Ate a baby?!"
- Boys and moms give birth? And what then of the Pope?
As I was born, I know. But oduduwa father and you degenerated?
- Mom, who I had given birth? You? I knew it. If the Pope, I would be with a mustache.
And again - on the same topic:
- What is a librarian? With a mustache?
- Yes.
- Why is she with a mustache?
I don't know.
"It must be her dad had given birth.
"That cock can really quite forget that he was a cock, and to lay an egg?
- As this is where I come from? You've given birth to me with her own hands.
- Mom, what are men doing? What if, from kostev?
"Uncle, uncle, great rabbit spilled here are tiny. Go soon, they will go back, and you will never see them!
Many years later I was told about the girl who, being present at the birth of kittens, said understanding voice:
Is a mouse from a cat falling.
As has become the first man? Because his birth was a nobody!
Faith three years. The stake five. They quarreled. Faith yells,
- Mom! Not Rodi this ugly Kolya!
Kolya (gleefully):
"I already vyrazhenny!
This girl was born with arms and legs for her or them then I attached?
- Oh, Mama, Mama, why you brought this ugly to Hooke! He would sit better in your belly and would get bored there all his life.
In the story of Vera Panova "Serge" five hero says:
"Where do the children know: buy them at the hospital. The hospital sells children, one woman bought two. Why it took exactly the same - they say she separates them on the mole: one mole on his neck, the other has none. It is unclear why she is the same. Bought a better different."
Some annoying playful five-year-old man told Natasha about her younger sister:
- Give me that girl!
- How is that possible? - solid replied Natasha. - We are for the money paid.
Tchachina writes:
"With the perennial issue of young researchers - where children come from, I faced when Kate was four years old. Relative to itself, it implicitly accepted the version of the purchase in the store (as far as I know, this modern version completely replaced Avital stork). But in five years, Kate turned to me with bewilderment:
"Where the animals take children? Because they don't have stores.
"You know, like from a boy to make a girl? You need to put on his skirt and bows, and that's all!
The father of six-year-old Svetlana sold belonged to his TV.
"That's right! - said Svetlana. - Now you have money and you can buy me a brother.
- How much did you pay when bought me in a maternity home?
"You weighed three pounds, I think, seventy-five cents per kilogram.
Unless children are trafficked by weight? They, cheese or sausage?
Five years he was sometimes forced to babysit little Lena, sister. Neighbor jokingly asked him, so he sold it to Lena. He didn't agree. But when he was tired of being a nurse, he brought her Lena for sale.
- I have no money, " said the neighbor.
"And you take credit for salary.
The mother of five-year-old boy returning from maternity homes, loudly lamented that her instead of the girl - boy.
Listening to her complaints, the son advised:
- And if a copy of the receipt is left, and can be exchanged!
Parents Thani (two and a half years) promised to buy her brother, but not now and then, as money was not enough. Tanya began to collect the coins and throwing them in a clay cat piggy Bank every time eagerly wanted to know, how many is not enough to buy even the cheapest Vanya.
So it took about five months. One evening my parents went to the movies. Learning of this, Tanya cried:
- Would not spend money on tickets, but rather would buy Vanya!
Ira Glysine (Petropavlovsk) asked the mother, so that she bought her girl Tanya.
They are very expensive, " said the mother. - I want, I'll buy you a doll?
Ira refused. After a few days, the radio announced the price reduction.
"Well, now, " cried Ira, you can buy me Tanya!
Experiencing a burning zeal for newborn sister, three-year-old Igor told him:
"Let's sell Ninco back in the hospital! Come on!
The girlfriend has told People that she buys a sister or brother. People with indignation:
Will not buy and will girodat. Children bought, when slavery was, and now all vyrashivaiut.
Daughter of the Leningrad Professor Mrazova (five and a half years) told him in conversation that kittens who are born a cat, occur, in her opinion, eaten by the cat mice.
And small children as are born? the father asked, ispita child.
Also in my mother's belly! Now my mom will eat veal, she was born a little baby.
- And if I eat veal, I'm going to or not?
"You, too, will be born. Mom daughter, your son.
"So, " says Professor Bass - child, quite suddenly to his companion, and can be, for him, were permitted just two problems - the origin of species and the problem of sex."
Marina:
- Nana, if children are clipped, you can see it's a boy or a girl?
- No. If no braids, you can't.
- But mom, imagine, guess.
Thirty years ago, when in Leningrad still existed cab, six-year-old Anton, knowing that horses are born "from the belly", without any surprise asked:
- Do cabs such a big belly?
"Hey, mom: when I was born, how did you know that I am Yuri?
"If I knew you were this otherwise, I would have you not rodilas.
"Mother, let's Radim yourself foal!
Five-year Edik has bragged in a communal kitchen:
- Dad mom watch promised to bore him a girl. Would watch me, I would have him ten pieces begat.
"What time was I born?
"Half - past six.
"Oh, you and tea to drink did not have time!
"I found you in the forest under a Bush, " said the mother of four-year-old Irina.
She replied with great irony:
When we walked in the woods, something I had not seen the children were lying!
- Mom, I really want a sister... You wouldn want to give birth to my sister? Try, please!
I would love Papa does not allow!
"Well! That's dad leave, and without him we will try!
- Mom, you my have bought or narodil?
He narodil.
"Hey! And Lenku mom bought.
"Daddy, where did I come from?
- You bought on the market.
"Yes, but before you sell, I had someone to do it!
- What are you whispering to the dog?
- I said to her, narodi me of puppies. And she replies: rodu, rodu with pleasure.
Four-year Irinushka want to have a sister or brother.
- Anna Arkadyevna, " said her neighbor, " you can't give me the address where you bought your Katenka?
The Queen adored his daughter, and then she's rodilas stepdaughter...
Threat:
- Now go to Rostov, give birth to the baby and will not write the name.
- And why do we so evil dad has narodil?
"Mother, mother, virodhi little.
"Let me alone, I'm busy.
"You have sometimes a day off!
- Mom, when your umbrella you will extend, give me the smallest of sentices.
Parents are hesitant whether to take Natasha's dog, as the father of this dog - mongrel.
"Mother, I give you my word of honor, you surely know that there is no father and no.
- What we're made of?
- Meat and bones.
But who's skin it all covered?
- Children mothers give birth, and adults who?
Natasha eight months. Five-year-old Lena tells her angrily:
"Why are you in the mouth take a diaper? That's sick, die - you mom for the second time to give birth is not.
- When I was born, mom and dad were in the theater. Come, and I'm already here.
Sasha (three and a half years) is growing without a father. It does not upset him.
He is asked:
- Where is your mother?
- At work.
"And dad?
We haven't done.

"Okay, if you don't want to I was your son, give me back! (And then roars all day, dejected his blasphemous impudence.)

On this case I am many years later I read in the diary Puigcorbe:
- Mom, why do I have such scandalous sister? Rodi her back.

- Mommy, please, Rodi baby or a dog, well, I beg you! Know how I'm going to love them.
Mother. Oh, how you bore me!
Five-Year Seryozha. It was not necessary to give birth!
Who is the first mother Tits sucked?
- ...Finally the girls narazilisya dad and mom, and she was very happy.
Come visit, and someone asked about a three-year Exchange:
- Whose Valya's eyes?
He replied:
- Daddy.
"Well, dad, poor, mean, no eyes left," thought Hildebrand and immediately wrote the following hypothesis:
- Before I was born, my dad had a lot of eyes, and large and small; and when my mother bought me, dad gave me a big eye, and his left little.
Viechles told me that when his son and Mitya Sulerzhitsky learned that the cat must be born kittens, they could not guess where these kittens will appear.
Mitya looked the cat's ear and shouted:
- Very soon now! Already the foot is visible.
"Mother, it is true that people from monkeys happened?
- The truth.
- That's why I look so little monkeys became.
"Don't you know that all humans descended from monkeys: and I, and your mother.
- You - as you wish. And my mother is not.
Nina Shchukarev asks his grandmother:
- Grandma, you used to be a monkey?
"No, never was.
"And your mother?
Also there.
- Who was the monkey? Grandpa?
- God be with you. And grandfather was not.
"Well, then, my Moscow grandmother.

HATRED OF SORROW

All children aged two to five believe (and crave to believe)that life is created only for joy, boundless happiness, and this faith is one of the most important conditions of their normal mental growth. A giant child's work on mastering the spiritual heritage of adults is only then if it's stable pleased with the world. Hence the struggle for happiness, which the child is even in the most difficult periods of his life.
Granddaughter Olga asked my grandmother:
- Tell the tale!
Grandma started:
- It was in the forest. Were little kids. And meet them gray wolf...
Olga cried:
- Don't tell!
Why?
- Sorry kids.
Four-year-old Alex Chernavsky quietly listened to the tale of the evil Fox and the simple wolf. But when he learned that the tail of the wolf frozen and that the wolf running away from the enemy, was forced to leave the severed tail in the hole, he was very upset by his failure and trembling voice asked:
"But the tail is then increased? Right?
- No! - answered him. - This never happens.
"No, rose! rose! rose! - stubbornly insisted the boy.
"No, the only lizards tails grow back again, and the wolves never.
Mount Alika had no limits. He raged that he could not calm down. He sobbed uncontrollably and tears cried out:
- Rose! rose! rose!
Two years old, reports Ether, - I, according to my mother, loved the tale of the Gingerbread man. But listened quietly as long as the Bun was able to escape from dangerous animals. When the case came to Fox that his am and ate...", I was shouting aloud: "don't!" and indulged in tears. One salvation from Reva was to continue the tale, making clever hero consistently to meet with a lion, elephant, camel, etc. and all of these meetings were sure to end the triumph of the Bun.
The whole Zoological garden, it happened, get over until you fall asleep! - complained afterwards the mother."

CHILDREN DO NOT BELIEVE IN DEATH

Those characters who are charming child, everything must go, and there is no way to prevent them from dying, because with them he often identifies himself.
Eight-year-old Oktyabrina said:
- Anya, I'm ten times watched "Chapaev", and all he is buried. Maybe go with dad?
Bob Katanyan, four years, incredulously asked his mother:
"Mother, all men die?
- Yes.
"We?
We, too, will die.
- It is not true. Tell me you're kidding.
He was crying just as hard and pitiful that the mother, frightened, began to assure him that she was joking.
He calmed down immediately:
Of course, I'm joking. I knew. First, we'll be old, and then again become young.
The story of a teacher on a three-year stake:
When we first traveled to the country and the teacher led the kids in a group for a walk, nick walked behind. Then he stopped and knelt down to the grass. The teacher walked up and ordered: "Go, go!" He pointed at the dead sinicco and asked.
"Why isn't she flying?
- The bird is dead, " said the teacher and shouted: " Yes go!
The whole walk the boy was silent, thoughtful. I woke up before everyone else. Barefoot ran to the edge of the forest. Titmouse was not there. He ran
came back and wait for the educators, panting, inconceivably happy voice cried:
"Aunt Mary! Still, she flew away!..
The boy did not die. And approved the eternity of life.
My grandmother died. It now bury. But three-year-old Nina is not too indulges in grief:
- Nothing! It is from this pit will perlage to another, will lie down-lie down and recover!
Dead for younger immortal.
L.M. Nikolaenko took three Marina at the cemetery and planted on the grave of her grandmother maple. When he returned, the girl said with pleasure:
Finally I saw my grandmother Lida!
"What are you, Marosa! You have seen her grave.
"No, I saw how she looked in the hole, in which you planted a tree.
Girl five years of age came with her mother to the cemetery and saw a drunk who was staggered behind the bushes.
And this guy has dug out of graves?

The Veresaev recorded this conversation:
"You know, mom, I think people are always the same: live, live, then die. They bury in the ground. And then they are born again.
- What you Glebocka, I say nonsense. Think, how can this be? Bury man great, and to be born small.
"Well! Like peas! Here's a big one. Even above me. And then they'll put in the ground begins to grow and will again become great."

Many years have passed, and I reported the same hypothesis, again nominated for three-year-old child.
Bury the old people that they sow in the ground, and from them little bloom like flowers.

Younger preschoolers death seems like pure pleasure.
Volik asked about some deceased:
- And what he was going to break?
"You've seen buried.
When a mailbox ride on the horse? Yes?
Regret of the dying is not a kids thing.
I'll die, " says the mother. "I will burn.
- And what about your shoes? - Waseda daughter (two and a half years).
Felic rushes into the room:
"Mother, I want to be a cadet: buried with music, and the cap on the coffin!
- Natasha, who buried?
Not being able to understand many of them, and all are moving.
Died uncle Shura. Today bury.
And I will follow him music?
"No, he's not military.
"You military?
- No.
And uncle Gogh military?
- No. What?
Music wants to hear.
From our home made boat, and then another boat, her uncle died, put it on the truck, closed the other boat and drove away.
- My grandmother will never die. Grandfather died and that's enough.
Next door the old woman died.
"No, old man! I saw that old man! Ahead carry the coffin, and the old man lead by the hand, and he cries, not wanting to break.
Bury the woman. Over her crying orphan daughter. Orphan persuaded that she stopped, but she continued to weep.
- What kind of naughty! "the Eureka and wishing that praised him, in a hurry to say to his mother:
- When you die, I'm never not going to cry.
- Mom! Went dead, and behind him is a great place.
Ukrainian scientist NIC told me about this conversation:
- Mom, I'll die too? asked nine-year-old Jackdaw.
- Certainly.
- And soon?
- In a hundred years.
Jackdaw cried.
- I don't want mommy to die, I want to live a thousand years.
Pause.
"I know, mother, I will learn to "excellent", then I will be a doctor and will invent such a remedy, so that people never died.
You will not succeed.
"Well, then, that people lived not less than a hundred years. I'll be sure this medication to make up.
This conversation is remarkable in that it is a children's egocentrism is replaced (literally before our eyes) hot concern for all of humanity.
Lala, Zweibel five years says:
"That's great uncles and aunts, and what they do - the burial! I'm not afraid, no, but sorry - harnaut and harnaut, because people harnaut. Let us go and make a statement to the police - after all, sorry people!
Eclassical writes me about five Misha, who, upon hearing about the death of a friend, said one of the guests:
- Uncle, but, you know, dying is very bad. It's for life!
Two guys:
Don't eat green cherries will die.
"No, not die.
- Seen: yesterday we buried grandpa? When he was little, he ate green cherries - here and died.
Five-year-old Lena promises to his father:
I'll always remember - even when you die.
And immediately interrupts himself:
"No, better together we will die. And I will be very sorry, if you're going to die soon of me.
Elizabeth Shabad, in her book "Living child the word," is this conversation a little Zdravomyslov with his father:
"Dad, if last year is war, you will zastreljat?
- Can be.
And from thee is nothing left?
- No.
- Even point?
- Yes. And you'll be sorry?
- What a pity, if nothing will remain!

CHILDREN AND NEW ERA

The industrialization of our country, for example, has caused thousands of children's utterances, unthinkable in the old days.
Four-year-old Misha Yurov is discharged from the hospital. On parting with him, the nurse asks:
- Misha, you Moskvich?
"No, I - "Victory"! "says the boy, because for him, as for most kids, "Moskvich" - this is the first car brand.
The radio broadcast an article about Volgograd battle. The article was entitled: "Victory on the Volga".
Hearing this title, Slavik excitedly shouted:
- Grandpa! Crash! "Victory" bumped into "Volga"!
Not long ago, the children always gave the car the characteristics of people and animals:
- Mom, look what red-cheeked bus!
Two-year-old citizen, who during rush came off the strap from the Shoe, sits on the grass and sighs:
- Peeboy motoe... - which, of course, must mean: "an Interruption in the motor. Even these words do not know how it is, and already applies to his tiny Shoe technical term.
The girl first saw at the Zoo elephant. Looked at the trunk and said:
- It's not an elephant, and a gas mask.
He has put an enema. He commanded:
"Well, turn it up!
And then:
"Turn it off, turn it off!
"Oh, mommy, you're beautiful! As motociclete!
True, the mother, the trolley is a cross between a tram by bus?
- "...Volchishko has become hardened wolf..."
What is the "mater", Volodya did not know, and he told this story:
- Volchishko entered the electricians...
Let's look cow - herd goes.
"What's interesting? If the motor was!
A city girl for the first time in the village. Saw the calf:
And it Groovy?
Bob came back from the farm.
"What you saw there?
- Horse trailer.
That is simply is who.
Mom:
- A boy with two eyes, the second two eyes. How many total eye?
Kostya (crying):
I Glazov be considered not know how.
- What can you count?
- Jets.
I write from Leningrad about five Bor, who, seeing in the book the word "summer", published three times red blue and black letters, said:
- This summer - fire engines, this summer - watering machine, this summer - trucks.
Five-year-old artist, having heard the tale of the Baba-Yaga, draws her hut on chicken legs with a long antenna on the roof.
As she listens to the same radio!
"Hey, Sergey, a fairy tale. Convened as a grandmother of seven kids...
- On the phone?
Ilya Rozanov (1, 10 m) first saw the storm.
- Grandma, look what Salut!
Four-year-old son of an engineer Victor Warsaw drew a man, and the side separately, nose, ears, eyes, fingers, and said in a businesslike tone:
- Parts.
Got back from the zoo.
"Well, Alexis, what you saw there?
Expected that he will start talking about tigers, elephants, hippos. But Alyosha answered briefly:
- Car!
(The truck that watered the track.)
- The grandfather, and in the horse gasoline poured?
The horse backed away from the dug ditches.
"Look, nikoloska, the horse was frightened!
And not scared, just stalled.
The girl was riding on the train with talkative mother, which had long been jealous of her interlocutors; finally clamped over her mouth:
"Mother, shut your radio!
Building something from two stools.
- What are you doing, Greg?
For your boots garage build.
Grandmother standing at the window, shows a two-year grandson and car Lisp:
- Bibika! Sergey, it bibika!
Grandson with scorn looks at her:
Is not bibika, and "Victory".
Boring and deadly boring five years seems to Anton Ivanov everything that is not related to the technique. What would you say to him, he listening scowling, with great reluctance, and often does not listen. But when it comes to radars, Dynamo-machines, or Blumenhof, or the most ordinary light bulbs, his round cheeks blush, in the eyes of the expression appears bliss, he leaps up and running in the excitement around the room, falling asleep talking with a hundred questions and I will not leave until you get answers to your "how?" "why?" "for what?".
His speech is saturated with so many technical terms. He said, for example (quoting from verbatim accuracy):
"I'm so tired, like a bulb on a hundred and twenty volts, which is included in the network at two hundred and twenty volts without transformer.
And it seemed even more wonderful that it grows in the family is extremely far from the technique: his grandfather was a writer (Vsevolod Ivanov), grandmother - translator stories and novels, mother linguistica, father - artist (Dubinsky), one uncle is a scholar, the other a landscape painter.
In the bus.
"Aunt move!
Silence.
"Aunt, move over, please.
Silence.
"Mother, this lady Neizvestnaya?
My grandmother in the corner before the icon never goes out lamp.
Lenya surprise:
- Why do you have all the time lights brake light?
- This Church is closed.
- At the rediscount?
- Grandma, what's wrong with you?
'Oh, dear, ill.
- For whom? For "Spartacus"? For Dynamo?
Boy five years illustrated Pushkin "green oak" side and drew the gramophone.
- When the gramophone?
As Pushkin said, "Is right - the song starts". Once going, it means that the gramophone.
- The stars in the sky are not real, not red, not like a holiday.
Stars are saluting that the sky was hooked.
Patriotism and characteristic of younger and older children.
- When we day in America night.
- So also it is necessary, suckers!
Characteristically, the word "white" Soviet kids often perceived not in the literal and figurative sense. Hearing about polar bears, he said with surprise:
- Do animals also have suckers?
Marina Tarasenko mother:
The dragonfly is the bourgeois, and the ant - working... Wolf - too greedy bourgeois, and the crane is working. I just don't know in the fable "the Monkey and the Spectacles" who is the monkey: bourgeois or working?
"Once we took a five-year Sasha in the movie, and he saw the painting "Lenin in 1918", says Maria Slastenin. - There acerca Kaplan shoots Lenin. It was terribly excited Sasha. Then the same picture was shown on TV. Sasha sat at the screen and, when Kaplan became the target of Lenin revolver, slammed clay cock on the screen. Glass crashed, the screen went out. What happened? We did not understand. But then I heard it:
Sasha laughs and shouts triumphantly:
- Not yet! Did not have time!
He was sure that he was able to save Lenin from the treacherous bullet".
Six-year-old Igor mother:
"You are my most beautiful, good, mirolyubivka.
- Pushkin in a duel killed...
- Where was the policeman?
"Who painted it?
- Dwarf.
And he was a fascist or ours?
A similar situation is described in the unpublished diary Puigcorbe. She decided with her daughter Galya crossword, and they met this line:
"The famous Soviet poet".
Galya said:
- Nekrasov.
- What is he Soviet! "said the writer.
"Isn't he the Soviet? After all, he is good.
As for millions of our citizens, "Soviet" and "good" for Gali synonyms.
"If I had a magic wand, the first thing I would have done so alive Vladimir Ilyich. Then that was alive Galin dad. Then that came to life all the great, good people of past centuries. And then I waved would stick for the last time, so was communism.
The policeman held the car who violate traffic regulations. The little son of the offender, with horror watching the Soviet policeman scolds his dad and makes him some kind of act, peeked in the window and asks:
- Please, release us! We stand for peace!
Is it true that in America all the chairs - electric?
Some request Misha grandmother said to him:
Is you state are not entitled to!
- So after all the States in America, and we have States not!
"What is that dog?
- German shepherd.
"She surrendered, Yes?
Five-Year-Old Sasha:
- Mother, and in the summer the cold war does not happen?
Playing with the boys, Sasha experienced the expression: "the world walked", "the world has driven" and so on. In their jargon, "global ice cream" is the best. So he is puzzled asked:
Why world war? How's this: war and suddenly the world?
Father furthermore Guseva jokingly said to my wife:
- I give you orders and you must obey.
Svetik a hawk swooped down on his father:
Now men like that do not happen! Now these men are not needed. You... raisiny husband!
He wanted to say: old-style.
With four-year-old Will, we walked through the ancient cemetery. Among the monuments of marble angel with outstretched hand. Will looks at the monument and explains himself:
Is it "be ready" does.
Veresaev tells how pious nurse took a little Eureka in the Church. Yurik, he returned home, he said with a laugh your loved ones:
We walked in a big, big house... There Petrovna naked uncle sniffed.
"What are you, George, you're lying? - outraged Petrovna. "What uncle smelled?
- And on the wall of uncle naked was drawn. Petrovna came close to him, waving her hand and sniffs. And old women all dabbled: Stukalo on the ground with the forehead... And I'm not amused, no!..
In the Church with my grandmother, seeing the icon:
- Who is this a picture?
Is a God.
"Where does he live?
- On the sky.
- High?
- Highly.
And reactive'll get him?
Writer Rudolf Bershad says:
"In the presence of a five year old daughter I was once told as a child constantly drove me to Church.
Daughter incredulously interrupted me:
"Dad, did you even when God was born?"
The same Svetik Gusev saw at the Zoo elephant. He was long considered a huge beast and finally asked his mother:
- Whose is this elephant?
- State.
Means, and my little bit, " he said with great pleasure.
We often observe, as reflected in children's conversations with the family. Special technical terms peculiar to the paternal or maternal work, move in the speech of young children and begin peculiar to serve their interests and needs.
Ephysema tells me about his little Svetsik, whose father is an accountant:
"When I told him that he was half of the toys for the summer lost, he poured out all the toys out of the basket on the floor and says: "we Must take inventory".
The four-year-old Natasha Vassilieva and mother and father of scholars: both work on dissertations.
Saw Natasha in the children's picture book: the cat is sitting at the table among notebooks and books:
Cat writes a thesis!
Three-year old daughter of a shoemaker, walking in the garden children's hospital, saw a woman carrying a baby in the hospital, and said, understanding voice:
To fix suffered babe.
The son of a writer, looking at the revolving carousel, said eagerly:
"Dad, tell the editor of this carousel - if I finally go!
I told the kids a well-known tale of the enchanted Kingdom, where the sleeping residents woke up one hundred years. And suddenly the daughter cleaners, five-year-old Claudia, exclaimed:
- Well, and the dust there was, Lord! A hundred years have not been washed and has never been cleaned!
Dima, the son of the seller of ready-made clothes, used the terminology of his father's profession for the outpouring of related senses:
- I love everybody equally, and mother to one more room.
- You found in cabbage! they say the city child, thinking that he will imagine cabbage patch.
Unless I was in the soup? slightly surprised he and the finds that as a citizen have never seen a vegetable garden. Cabbage appeared to him only in the plate.
Unfortunately, somewhere in our families still remained bourgeois manners and skills. It hurts to see that in this quagmire involve young children...
"Aunt Olga, give your Olga married me.
- Why?
- I will prepare, and I'll lie on the couch and read the newspaper, like daddy.
"Our Zahara two wives: one native, the other cousin.
- My dad - I don't know who.
And my dad is the driver.
- And you, Vitenka?
And my dad is a scoundrel.
- Who told you that?
- Mother.
- Will never marry. Hunting every day to quarrel!
- Mom, and to van new father came and Waninoko father drove.
Your folder Communist?
- No! What he is a Communist! He's with mommy every day swears!
Two-year OLE mother bought a birthday bottle of kvas. When they began to uncork the cork flew out, and kvass, sapinusies was poured on the table. Olga ran to her father.
- Daddy, daddy! The bottle was sick! "cried Olga, repeatedly observing the same "nausea" from his father.
Janitor: Girl, you leave here, you're in my way floor wash.
Girl: go away. My mother told: "As it says, what it took".
- I will marry Vova, " says four-year-old Tanya, " he's a beautiful suit, and Peter too, he gave me a pretty penny.
- And what about Alex? Because he has so many toys!
"Well! Have me and for him to go.
From Luda's and Sasha's father drunk, Tirana family.
Luda:
- Mom, why are you on my dad married! We would, you know, as the three of us had a good one!

TEARS AND TRICKS

The child from two to five often crying "someone" - with a pre-set goal. And perfectly in control of his tears.
Professor Skuratov reports that a three-year Serezha in conversation with him, among other things, said:
- When mom and dad come home, I roar.
And without them?
When Granny is not Reba.
- Why?
Sergei shrugged:
- It is useless.
Writer Negcon gave me his conversation with a three year Sarrocco Brahman:
- Today I fell and hurt yourself.
- Cried?
- No.
Why?
And no one has seen.
Vova ravens crying on the street.
"Wait, don't cry, " her mother said, " now we'll the way to go. Here the roaring once, we must look to us machine didn't mess with. Here the road will pass, then again to cry.
Vova was silent. When crossed the road, he tried again to serevet, but nothing came, and he said:
Already all the roar ended.
The mother was angry at Lena and called her Lenka, and then, when laid on the table, with a smile said to the grandmother:
"Oh, you and herring prepared!
This was enough for Lena she began to wail inconsolably.
"You even herring called herring, and me - Lenka!
- Granny, " where you going?
- To the doctor.
The girl in tears. And asks, still sobbing:
- When you are gone?
- Why in a minute.
"What I never said I would have started crying!
"Cunning" is peculiar children much more often than people think. Sentimental legend about the child, as some simple-minded righteous, extremely far from reality. Because in actual fact the child is not such a little angel, how is he represented many blindly loving parents. A great diplomat, he often inspires themselves and others, though his self-serving desires and demands prompted him pure altruism.
You can go for ice cream... I didn't say that ice cream, and that you went a little into the air.
Natasha teases her grandmother candy:
"You, grandma, eat these pretty (marmalade), and I'll eat them dirty.
And, making a wry face of disgust, with a sigh, takes the chocolate bar.
- Mom, take me to handle! I'll keep that you don't fall over!
The mother carries the heavy bag.
"Mother, you take me on hands, I'll take a bag, and you will not be hard.
Five Irina during lunch eats reluctantly and slowly. So she acted spoon faster, the mother invites her to eat soup race. Irina refuses, but extremely cunning motivates his refusal tender feelings to his mother:
- I don't want to distill such a good mother!
Grandma's big points. Andrew walks with her through the crowded Park and very afraid of wolves. While in his soul is decaying hope that, if the wolves are going to attack, you are likely to grandmother. This secret hope he expressed in these words:
"If any man will eat the wolf, what will he do with his glasses? Themselves will wear, or what?
Three-year-old Igor saw a strange cat, and in fear, hiding behind mother's back.
- I cat not afraid, I only give her way, because she's so pretty.
Mom wore a dressy blouse and is clearly going to leave. It is not like a three-year Lesha. To keep mom at home, Alex resorts to cunning:
- Take off the jacket, you ugly.
Four Valerica in kindergarten offered to draw pigeons. He is nothing but houses, 't know how to draw. He drew a house.
- Where are the pigeons?
"They are in the house.
Andrew Rumyantsev (2, 10 months) interested in swimming in the river beam. He really wants to run up closer to him, but its not allowed there.
Close to from the logs on the shore of a dog, which is not at all interested in the boy.
Marina, however, a good dog?
- Yes. Very!
- A wonderful dog! No, you only think, what a dog! I'll run to it - so good!
On the balance beam a single word.
The mother was about to leave for a week out of town and take Tanya. But Tanya doesn't know about it. Thinks she will be left with the Eureka
home. So, without saying a word about yourself, Tanya starts hypocritical to complain about the brother.
And will you leave?" she says the mother. "You can go from a poor, sick little boy?
When she learns that her mother intends to take her, she instantly resets the mask:
- He isn't that small, and not so patient! And in General it is big. And moreover healthy.
To honor Thani, it is necessary to say that, unlike adults, she does not notice their hypocrisy.
- Mom, bread!
"Wait, soon lunch.
- Well, give my doll Mache.
Received for dolls a piece of bread, four Galya immediately puts it in
your own mouth.
"What are you doing?
- Try not hot bread: to Masha not burnt her mouth.
I think this cunning would be the envy of any Jesuit.
Two-year-old Zoe doesn't want children, visitors, played with her toys. For that, she resorted to such fabrications:
The doll should not be touched: the doll is sick. Bear is also impossible: he bites.
Zoya who have reached the age of four loud at the table said a strange phrase, heard it on the radio:
- Anti-fascist demonstration in Greece.
"What do you mean? - asked her astonished aunt.
Instead of frankly admit that the whole phrase is unavailable to her understanding, Zoe accuses misunderstanding aunt:
"You don't know what that means? Dad, Yes you explain it, please, and then I feel ashamed that she does not know.
My parents forbade Ira to ask strangers treats. Ira came to the neighbors to visit. The table has not yet covered. The Ira with the most innocent face:
When I was there the last time, you gave me sweets.
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